Back To Balance

A few posts back, I talked very passionately about how happy I was to leave the corporate world behind in order to pursue my dream – my online business, Empowered Women Coaching. Thinking back to the time when I was a career professional, I remember feel unsatisfied, bored, uncreative and totally out of alignment. I only worked while I was AT work (never at home or weekends), and even when I was at work I would find time fillers so that I could avoid doing work (which is totally out of integrity for me, thus making me feel worse). While I was waiting for the time when I would be able to break free and concentrate 100% on my business venture, I remember thinking about how creative and busy and HAPPY I would be doing work that I love…

So of course, from the moment I started Empowered Women Coaching I totally threw myself into it 120%. I’ve spent days, nights, weekends and even holidays dreaming up ideas, building my website, marketing to potential clients, etc. etc. Because I am doing what I LOVE, I felt that I needed to be doing it all the time. With no rest. Not even in my dreams when I sleep. My brain is constantly ticking away with new ideas, new possibilities, new ways to make my business even better. After years of mental drudgery working in the corporate world, I finally found myself alive with creativity, passion and purpose. All of a sudden life had meaning, and I have been determined to spend every moment of it making it worthwhile.

The problem is, I’ve realised that what I’ve actually become is a ….workaholic. Yes, that’s right. I moved out from the corporate world where most people are workaholics and moved into a business that was supposed to offer me more time with my family and more flexibility…and I have become…a workaholic. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not the business’ fault. It’s my fault. In everything we do, there should be moderation. We should never be too extreme, either way. But I was so excited with all the creativity and passion that I neglected everything else in my life. Like my health, my friends and family, my home environment, time for fun and adventure, etc.

For weeks my intuition has been crying out, “slow dowwwwn…take it easy…”. But I haven’t listened. I kept going. Because it felt like there was so much to DO, and I had to be the one to do it all. Yes, I do hire out some of my services to other professionals, but being the perfectionist that I am, I am still involved every step of the way. I couldn’t just let it go. My justification being that I am SO dedicated to my vision that I need to ensure that every aspect of my business reflects that vision.

Meanwhile….all the other areas in my life are suffering. And, more than anything, I am exhausted! Mentally as well as physically. So, this weekend it all came to a head. I decided to stop, to listen to my intuition and to take stock of where I am. Or as I described it to my husband when he asked me what I was doing, I needed time to myself to “regroup”.

I handed the baby over to my husband for a few hours, went upstairs to the bedroom with my notebook and pen and started writing. I was going to coach myself through this. I knew what I would do with a client who had the workaholic/time management challenge that I had, so I was going to be both the client and the coach. I wrote down all the important areas of my life (e.g. family, business, health, spirituality, personal growth, etc.) and began to describe for each area:

• Where I currently was (i.e. what was I experiencing, feeling, etc.)
• What I wanted (i.e. what did I actually want to be experiencing, feeling, etc.)
• What I was going to do to achieve what I wanted (i.e. what goals I was going to set to get what I wanted. In other words, how was I going to close the gap of discontent)

It took me about 2hrs to get it all down on paper, and you know what I felt so much better when I had done it. I hadn’t solved anything, nothing had really changed. But suddenly I wasn’t overburdened with it. I wasn’t overwhelmed. I could objectively look at and scrutinise everything that was written on this paper, and come up with logic ways to overcome my challenges.

A great feeling of peace swept over me. I was back in control. I realised that as much as I love my business, I love the other areas of my life just as much and they need my time and attention too. I wasn’t just an entrepreneur. I was also a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a spiritual being, a human being! And I needed to live my life in a way that honoured all of those roles.

So here I am now, a self-confessed workaholic who has decided to take back control. I declare that I am dedicated to making my whole life fulfilling, not just in the area of my work/business. And that I am peace again.

If what I have written about today has resonated with you, feel free to drop me a comment! If you’d like to learn more about how Empowered  Women Coaching can help you to find the kind of peace I have found, drop me an email at info@empoweredwomencoaching.com. I’d be happy to offer you a free 45minute coaching consultation

Announcing the Launch of the Empowered Women Coaching Website!

Friends! The moment has finally arrived! After months of designing and redesigning, the Empowered Women Coaching website is finally here! You can find it at www.empoweredwomencoaching.com

Please browse around the site to find out more about our vision, who we work with, what we offer, etc. Any feedback you may have would be wonderful If you are interested to learn more about how Empowered Women Coaching can help you, please send an email to info@empoweredwomencoaching.com!

Find Your Voice

 

Recently I attended my first Toastmasters’ meeting since I became pregnant last year. I was a very active of the Al Noor (All Women’s) Toastmasters meeting up until I became pregnant – and the pregnancy fatigue hit bad!

It was such a pleasure going back to Toastmasters and I took the role of General Evaluator – the person who evaluates how the whole meeting went. I was so privileged to be surrounded by inspiring women who had come together to improve their communication skills, and do what I call “finding their voice”.

It takes a lot of courage to stand up in a room of people to give a speech you have spent time perfecting. It has been a long time since I gave a speech but I remember how my heart would begin to beat as I started, how my hands would start to sweat and my throat would go dry. But then, before the very first word of my speech, I would take a deep breath and say this to myself: “Smile…You Can Do This.” And then I would resolve to simply enjoy myself as I shared the message of my speech with the people in the room. And you know what? I really did!

I believe very strongly in the importance of honing your communication skills. My philosophy is that each one of us has a unique gift to share with the rest of the world. However, if you are unable to speak the message of your gift, or articulate what your unique skills are, then that gift could risk the chance of going to waste – never having the fortune to be shared with the world. Each one of us has a duty to improve our communication skills, to find our unique voice, so that we can share our unique gift.

If the thought of speaking up in a crowd terrifies you, if you remain silent in a group for fear of drawing attention to yourself – then YOU are the one that I’m talking to. Don’t be afraid to find your voice and share it with the world. We are all waiting to hear what you have to say.

If you would like to learn more about how coaching can help you to find your voice and improve your communication skills, please contact me at info@empoweredwomencoaching.com.

Make the Entrepreneurial Leap!

 

Most people feel trapped by their jobs because they feel they do not have the option to choose a better way of life. This is a lesson I have learnt well over the past five years, and something that compelled me to leave behind the 9 to 5 and create my dream business. Now I work everyday building in something I believe in. I’m combining my Purpose and Passion to create Profits!

For the past 5 years I have been working in a career that did not satisfy me. I was in a corporate career that paid well, gained respect from many people and was too a certain extent, stimulating. However it was not what I was passionate about. It was not what drove me and made me feel creative. Corporate tax had been my career from the moment I got out of university. It was a career that came about by accident, as I was simply searching for a job to make money and was really at the beginning of my journey of self-discovery. I didn’t know who I was, or what I really wanted to do, or what would make me really happy. I had recovered from depression by the end of university but I still didn’t really know who I was. So I picked up the first career that came and ran with it.

I worked hard, toiled and sweated. I poured myself into it, trying hard to make myself ‘love’ this respectful career that everyone else thought was great. But I couldn’t fake it. It didn’t make me happy. It made me yearn for more. It made me realize that I didn’t want to work for ‘The Man’, working hard everyday to make money for a corporation that didn’t represent what my passion was. I wanted to work in a job that I believed in. A job that got me excited everyday, and more than anything, a job that I had created for myself.

It took me 5 years to get out, but I eventually did. This very month I walked away from my corporate career and walked straight into my entrepreneurial career. I am now a fully dedicated Women’s Life & Career Coach and I couldn’t be happier. Everyday I wake up knowing that I have a job that I LOVE. Because I designed it myself. Everyday I get to create, to meet people who feel the same passion I do, and to feel like I am in the driver’s seat. When people ask me what I do, I tell them with a big smile on my face and pride in my voice. I know that I am living on purpose and totally in alignment with my values and beliefs. The greatest thing I am most grateful for as I now live in this new reality is the new found sense of freedom. I am free to spend as much or as little time working as I like each day. I am free to spend more quality time with my daughter, family and friends. I am free to choose whom I wish to work with. And I am free to co-create my present and my future. Nothing feels as good as freedom tastes.

If you are thinking about making the entrepreneurial leap, get in touch! I’d love to work with you to help you create your dream business and re-design your life on your terms. You can email me at layla@empoweredwomencoaching.com

Latest Empowered Women Update!

Hey everybody,

First of all – a VERY Happy New Year! I hope you are all  doing well and are all as excited about 2010 as I am. A New Year means new beginnings, new experiences, new opportunities for us to tap into even more of our full potential!

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that the Empowered Women website will be launched in the next 2 months. I am VERY exciting about launching the website and launching our new coaching products and services.

Empowered Women is dedicated to helping savvy, purpose-driven women in their 20s and 30s who want to discover and pursue their dream careers and businesses. We work with students/graduates, careerists and entrepreneurs. If this describes YOU then please watch this space!

Peace and Love,

Layla

To schedule a complimentary coaching session to explore your career and business goals, please feel free to email me on lsaad001@hotmail.com

How I Joined the Sisterhood of Motherhood

 

It has been a long, long time since I have blogged (3 months actually!) and I have missed it! Life often has a funny way of keeping us from doing the things we love. However this time, I have a reason to be happy for being distracted from the things I love because 2 months ago I gave birth to my first baby — a beautiful little girl named Maya. Since then my life has been a total rollercoaster and I have changed in so many ways since then.

Directly before the time of Maya’s birth and post-birth, I have learnt so many wonderful lessons about motherhood and about life. I’d like to share with you the story of how I became a mother 2 months ago and how it has changed me…

Maya was due to be born on 27^th November 2009. We already knew she was going to be a baby girl and had prepared ourselves accordingly by buying her lots of clothes, accessories and other baby-related items. Although I had really enjoyed my second trimester where I felt energized and creative, my third trimester hit me with a shock. Very shortly after I entered my third trimester I felt the same level of exhaustion and fatigue that I had felt in my first trimester. However this time the fatigue was accompanied by swollen ankles and wrists, a big belly, and the inability to do very much for myself. By September time I was more than ready to have the baby and had to rely on all the reserves of patience inside me to wait until 27^th November.

I had begun to feel Maya inside my belly from my 18^th week of pregnancy and as the weeks had gone on she had made her presence inside me very well known. Every day she would kick hard and move around a lot, regardless of whether it was night or day. She was a very lively baby and I thought this was very indicative of the kind of personality she would have when she came into the world. I knew she would be an active, happy, healthy baby who was full of life.

Around my 31^st week of pregnancy I began to notice that something was wrong… My once active baby suddenly stopped moving around so much. Whereas before I had felt her moving around and kicking all day long, all of a sudden she became very subdued in her movements. Although pregnancy was new to me, I knew something just wasn’t right. The next week I plucked up the courage to go and see the doctor about it. The hospital conducted a CTG scan to detect if the baby’s movements were irregular, however they did not pick up any problems. They suggested I do an ultrasound however just for my own peace of mind. The following week I went for my ultrasound scan, expecting the results just like those of the CTG scan to be fine. However as the radiologist began to search around for the baby I could tell something was up. She asked me how many weeks old the baby was and I told her 33 weeks. However, after doing some measurements she told me that, as I had suspected, something was wrong. The baby was the size of a 31 week old baby. Also, my amniotic fluid was greatly reduced and there was a problem with the flow of my blood from my placenta to the baby. The radiologist recommended I go to see my doctor immediately.

Waiting around to see my doctor was terrifying. I was all alone at the hospital and I couldn’t imagine what the doctor was going to say. All kinds of thoughts were running through my mind. An hour or so later I finally got to see my doctor and as he conducted the ultrasound scan he concluded the same results as the radiologist. He told me that the baby was suffering from something called IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction). What this meant was that something was causing the baby to slow down in growth, which is why the baby was much smaller than it should be. More than likely the restricted flow from my placenta meant that the baby wasn’t getting as much food as she should be and this was causing her to grow slower. My doctor told me that I would immediately have to be transferred from the private hospital to the Government hospital as they would better be able to handle my case. He also told me that it was very possible that the Government hospital would likely have to do an emergency cesarean and deliver the baby early.

Things moved fairly quickly after that. I transferred to the Government hospital that very evening and was admitted to the ward. The doctors there did their own tests and investigations and after two days they made the decision to deliver Maya early. I can honestly say that preparing to go into the theatre for the cesarean operation was THE scariest moment of my life. I was shaking, nauseous, dizzy and everything in between. I didn’t know what state my baby would be in when she came out, and this was my first major surgery. After delivery, Maya was taken immediately to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) where she would spend the first 3 weeks of her life. Weighing in at just over 1kg she was too tiny to be able to survive outside an incubator. However she was healthy and did not have to have any help breathing. I was not able to see her until the following day when the anesthesia had worn off me. The first time I saw her I was blown away by how small AND powerful this little girl was. Despite her size she looked wise beyond her years and something inside me just knew she was going to be fine in the end.

After I was discharged from the hospital, we would visit her every single day, several times a day in the NICU. Her growth was slow, but it was steady. We would visit her in the morning, afternoon and evening. I was devastated that my little girl had to live in an incubator and felt so helpless being unable to give her the kind of care that I wanted to. Despite the despair and overwhelm I often felt though, in my heart of hearts I knew God would look after us all.

It took 3 weeks before she was finally allowed to come home and that was the happiest day of my life J She is now a happy, healthy little girl who has settled into life with her family at home.

As we all know it is during our hardest and most challenging times that we experience the most growth. It is when we face hardships that we learn more about life and what we are truly made of. During this period of my life I learnt the following things:

• ALWAYS trust your instinct. My instinct told me that something was wrong with my baby, and I was right. Despite assurances from my family and doctor that everything was ok, I followed my gut feeling and made sure everything was checked out. If I hadn’t trusted in myself who knows how long it may have taken before a problem was detected.

 

• We cannot control the circumstances in our lives. We can only control what we choose to think/feel/do. I could not control Maya being born 2 months early. I could however choose how I was going to feel about it and what I was going to do about it. Instead of perceiving my baby’s early birth as an unfortunate event, I choose to view as simply the way things were meant to be. God knows best how things are meant to happen. My job is to simply stay in control of what I choose to do with what circumstances I am handed.

 

• Things don’t always go according to plan. However that doesn’t mean that we should give up on our dreams. Despite being totally unprepared for having a premature baby I have still followed through on being the kind of mother I want to be. A drastic change in the plan doesn’t mean I have to abandon the plan.

 

• We are so much stronger than we think we are. I would never have guessed in a million years that I would have the strength and courage to endure such a difficult time in my life. However we are never handed circumstances that we do not have the strength to face.

 

• Never take for granted the people in your life who love you. If it wasn’t for the family and friends around me who supported me during this difficult time, I would not be able to walk out of it in one piece. Friends and family are angels in disguise. Don’t ever underestimate how important your relationships are.

 

This was a rather long blog post, I know. However I hope what I have shared with you has touched your hearts and given you strength.

Peace and Love,

Layla

 lsaad001@hotmail.com

 p.s. Below is a photo of my beautiful little angel, Maya

Forgive AND Forget

No doubt there are going to be people in this world who are going to hurt our feelings. Whether our families, friends, colleagues, children, partners or whoever – more than one person during our life time is going to say or do something that’s really going to hurt us. It’s not always that they will do it intentionally (although sometimes they will!). But it’s an inevitable consequence of the fact that we are all different – every single one of us. We view life through the lenses of our own experiences, and we often see the world as literally revolving around us. So sometimes we may say or do things to other people, which may cause them to feel hurt or anger. True – we should try as much as possible not to hurt another person. But we have to remember that it is inevitable that more than once we will hurt another person with our actions and words, and they will hurt us too.

So the question that follows is – What do we do with that hurt? In other words, when somebody hurts our feelings – what are our options? I see three possible options we can choose from:

Option #1 – Don’t Forgive, and Don’t Forget

Oh, how often we go straight to option #1! And how easy it is to do so too! This is the option we go to when we are in a ‘reaction’ mode. In other words, we let our feelings of hurt and anger take over. Somebody hurts our feelings and we immediately go on the defensive. We see that person as an enemy, somebody who wishes us harm. And our instinct kicks into to protect, protect, protect. The thoughts that may come up when we’re in this option are:

‘I’m going to shut myself off from this person, they are out to hurt me’, or

‘I shouldn’t have let myself be so vulnerable with this person, now I’m going to shut down’, or

‘I’m going to let this person have a piece of my mind for what they have done to me!’

Yikes! Option #1 while the easiest to go to, is not the best for us. Not only does it cause a complete breakdown in our relationship with the person who has harmed us, but more importantly – it ultimately harms US. By not forgiving, and not forgetting we keep the anger we feel towards this person inside and it eats away at us day by day. Even if we have let some steam off by giving that person a ‘piece of our mind’, we still keep the anger with us. And it resurfaces whenever we think of that person, or even hear that person’s name! Option #1 is by far the least empowering and most destructive.

Option #2 – Forgive, but Don’t Forget

Option #2 is slightly more empowering than option #1, but it still isn’t where we want to be. This is where we tell the person that we forgive them for the hurt they have caused us, but we choose not to forget it. We may choose not to forget so that if they hurt us again our mind can say – ‘See! I told you this person was a bad person! They’ve hurt you AGAIN!’.

When we choose option #2 we may think we are taking the higher moral ground by showing forgiveness. But in reality, true forgiveness is not conditional. When we forgive, but don’t forget we are not really forgiving. A quote I love about forgiveness is by Henry Ward Beecher: 

“‘I can forgive, but I cannot forget’, is only another way of saying, ‘I will not forgive’. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.”

Option #3 – Forgive and Forget

This is the hardest option to go to, but the most empowering one. When somebody hurts us and we can consciously make the choice to forgive them and forget, we are freeing both them and ourselves from being tied together in a bondage of pain and suffering. Forgiving and forgetting does not mean that you don’t feel hurt or pain. This is unrealistic and we would be lying to ourselves to deny the pain. But what it does mean is that we choose to view the event in a different way.

For example, an empowering thought I like to repeat when somebody has hurt me is: ‘She (or he) was doing the best she could, with the resources she had’. This affirmation still allows me to feel my own pain, but it frees me from getting so caught up in anger and hate, because I choose to view the person who has hurt me in a more positive and forgiving light.

Also, when we are able to forgive and forget others – other people are more able to forgive and forget when we have hurt them.

So next time you are faced with a situation where somebody has hurt you – remember these three options and see if you can find a way to forgive and forget.

If you would like to learn how coaching can help you to resolve hurts and to move to ‘Forgive and Forget’ mode, email me at lsaad001@hotmail.com

The Top 5 Things That Helped Me Find Inner Peace

This is a rather long blog post, but I wanted to share with you the 5 most important things I learnt from one of the hardest times in my life. These 5 lessons helped me to find who I really was and to discover the peace and happiness that lies within me. The scene begins when I was just 18 years old…

 ….When I finished high school and college in Qatar where I had lived for 3 years, I moved back to the UK to begin university. I had left the UK when I was 15 and so had effectively ‘missed out’ on being a teenager in the west. By contrast I had been a teenager in the east, in an Islamic country, which was drastically different. In Qatar where I lived with my parents, I had been relatively protected from the ‘real world’. Life was fairly easy – we lived in a big house, went swimming everyday, went out to eat every weekend, enjoyed nice weather and generally enjoyed living the expat lifestyle. Being a Muslim, I got to enjoy the full experience of living in an Islamic country for the first time.

 My move back to the UK was a culture shock to say the very least! I left my home, my family and old friends and moved back to what was now a foreign land to me. Even though it was my home where I had grown up for 15 years, it was now a distant place so drastically different to what I was used to.

 Despite the change in environment, I loved my new-found freedom. I realized that out there in that country on my own, I could be who I wanted to be and do whatever I wanted to do. Without any  restraints. Without anyone to tell me – ‘You should be home at this hour’ or ‘You should watch how you spend your money’. I was my OWN person! And I could do whatever I pleased!

 However, as I began to flex my new found freedom, I slowly began to lose a grip on the ‘old’ me. The me that grew up in Qatar with certain rules and morals. I was now two people in one – ‘old Layla’ and ‘new Layla’. New Layla was fun and cool and she could do anything – even skip her classes, stay out all night partying and spend her student loan until she had nothing left. I was living life carelessly and adventurously. With little regard for responsibility or consequences.

 Well, you can imagine what happened next! They say that a schizophrenic is someone that has more than one personality. I certainly didn’t become a schizophrenic, but I did lose my grip on who I really was. I lost myself. I felt neither here nor there. I didn’t feel I belonged in the east OR west. I wanted both, but felt I had to choose. This despair that took over me, this loss of identity resulted in a more than 2 year long period of depression, anxiety, panic attacks and self-loathing. I’ve heard it now described as a ‘quarter life crisis’. Looking back I would describe it as ‘the worst period of my life’.

 How I got my life back together is an interesting story in itself – one that I will save for another day. For the time being I want to share with you the top 5 things I learnt as I made my way back from a life of despair, to a life of happiness and inner peace:

 

# 1 You are in complete control of your life.

Even when it seems like things are happening to you – that life is throwing bad luck at you – you are still in control. I felt that feeling that down and low was something that was happening TO me. The moment I realized that I could choose how I wanted to feel, my whole life changed.

 #2 Nothing matters except the present moment

This was a big one for me. During my ‘quarter life crisis’ I was either stuck in the past, replaying old hurts and worries. Or I was constantly in the future, making up scenarios of how bad my life was going to turn out. When I finally understood that the present was all there is, I stopped feeling like I had to carry the world on my shoulders and finally started appreciating what was right with where I was and who I was.

 #3 You become the company you keep

Parents love to tell you when you’re growing up that if you keep bad company, their habits and attitudes will rub off on you. The great thing about this lesson is that if you surround yourself with good company, their ‘good-ness’ will rub off on you too. Lucky for me, I surrounded myself with the best company I could have had during this difficult time. Being close to such wonderful friends who held me up to a higher standard than I was capable of doing was key to my recovery and ultimate success.

 #4 You can do anything you put your mind to

This is something that pessimists love to disagree with. But after going from complete despair and depression, and fast forward to 6 years later and I am running my own personal development business – I truly believe that if you want something bad enough, and if you put your whole heart into getting it, you will achieve it.

 #5 Everybody has an important life purpose

When I was depressed I felt like my life was meaningless. I couldn’t fathom why I was even put on this earth – what I was here to do. What was the reason for it all? As I began my recovery I realized that everything that had happened to me had happened for a reason. And that those painful times ultimately led me to discovering my life’s purpose – to help people create and lead fulfilling lives. To reduce the amount of suffering in the world and to help people find their own peace and happiness. Everybody has a life purpose – it just takes some of us longer to find it than others.

 

To learn more about how coaching can help you to get through challenging times, please email me (Layla!) at lsaad001@hotmail.com.

Getting Up When You’re Feeling Down

Do you ever have those days when you’re on FIRE? You’re literally burning with the passion of your vision of what you want to achieve! You’re on top of your game – multi-tasking, delegating, ticking items of your To Do list. Feeling a whole lot of accomplishment as you know you’re in control and you’re working it. You got inspiring goals and you’re doing everything you can to achieve them. YEAH… those days are AWESOME!

And then… out of nowhere, something will come along and tip you off course. Make you feel doubtful…worrisome… make you start wondering if you’re really doing the right thing. Make you wonder if you’re really on top of your game or if you’re just fooling yourself. I know I’m not the only one here! This happens to me about once a month or so. I’ll be making big headway towards my entrepreneurial dream – building a successful business that empowers women. And then BOOM! Someone will say something. Or do something. Or something won’t go through as I expected it to. And then the doubts begin to set it. My little personal gremlin begins to whisper in my ear…. “Who do you think you are anyways? Who are you to start your own business? That’s for people who are smarter and more confident than you! People who know how to network and market! You should just stick to what you know best. You’re never gonna make it you know? You may make some progress but you’ll never really get there. So why not just give up now!”

Ugh. I hate that little gremlin. For half a day or so I’ll let him rant and rave in my head. I’ll listen to him go on and on about how I’m not ‘enough’ of anything to make this dream a reality. I’ll let him kick me and kick me until I’m feeling way, way down in the dumps. But you know what… eventually I know I have to get back up. I’ll remember a saying that always gets me to get back up – it’s not what happens to you in life, but how you choose to respond to it.

If things aren’t going your way and you feel your little gremlin digging away at you – please remember that you can choose to just stop listening to him! You can choose to tell him to shut up. And then you can choose to tell yourself that even if you don’t have everything you need right now to achieve your goals, you do have the things that matter. Like determination, heart and vision. Remember that no matter what cards you have in your hands right now, you are still the one in the driving seat. You can choose to let the gremlin make you stop what you’re doing, or…. you can choose to just keep moving forward and believe that you WILL get there.

Getting up when you’re feeling down is one of the hardest things in the world. And some of us do it faster than others. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to do it. Just make sure you do it. Pick yourself up off the ground and keep moving forward. And watch that little gremlin disappear!

Sing Your Own Praises

Ever since my brothers and I were very small, and to this very day, our dad has always taught us the importance of recognizing your own potential and being willing to stand up and tell anyone what you’re capable of. This includes being willing to say you’re intelligent, a great leader, a great speaker, handsome or beautiful! My mum always mockingly accuses us of being arrogant or conceited, but that is not at all what it means to sing your own praises.

So many people grow up and raise their children in environments where it’s ‘not polite’ to talk highly of yourself. People are discouraged from openly saying that they are smart or pretty or confident. This is especially the case with women, who are often expected to stay humble or demure. A man who is confident is seen as a great leader. A woman who is confident is often seen as threatening or not fitting the status quo. Regardless of these stereotypes, the ability to sing your own praises is an extremely important one to have. As my dad has always taught us, “If you’re not willing to stand up for yourself and say who you are, nobody else will!” That reasoning always resonated with me as I understood that each one of us has to be the first to say who we are, without having to rely on others to stand up for us first.

Singing your own praises has many benefits, including:

• It deepens your own belief in your capabilities and potential – saying the words out loud or writing them down makes it more ‘real’ as you (hopefully) would only right down what is truthful. Your belief in yourself gets stronger and stronger the more you are willing to give yourself a shout out.
• It raises your standards of what you’re capable of – and by raising your standards, you begin to play life at a higher level. You begin to see possibilities for yourself that you may have never previously entertained before.
• It makes people around you aware of what kind of person you truly are – people gain respect for you as they see you as someone who is confident and assertive enough to point out their good points. The people who are like you will be drawn to you, thus increasing your attractability.

Singing your own praises doesn’t assume that nobody else is willing to sing your praises too. We all have parents, teachers, spouses, mentors, colleagues, bosses, etc. who are more than willing to point out all our good points to anyone who will listen. However, when it comes from you – it is more convincing to whoever you’re talking to, and most importantly to YOURSELF.

Lastly, when it comes to singing your praises, the WAY in which you do it is very important. Often times the WHAT of what we are saying can be totally negated by HOW we say it. Do be confident. But do not be arrogant and conceited. And do not assume that you are far above everyone else around you. It is a fine balance between realizing that you are indeed great – but that so is everybody else around you. You are not a lone shining star. You are a star amongst a galaxy of stars. The only difference is that you are willing to shout that out and make it known. Do it with humility and self-confidence. With respect to who you’re talking to, and with respect for yourself.